How to rebuild a relationship after cheating?

Steve and Emma are sitting in my office room, looking very unhappy. ‘Every time I can’t get Steve on the phone, I am quickly reminded of how he wouldn’t answer when he was with the other woman,’ says Emma, still bitter and hurt three years after she discovered his affair.

Married to Steve for 10 years, Emma made the decision to stick with her hubby to keep the family together. However, she constantly tries to make him feel that he is very lucky she didn’t kick him out. Believing that Kevin has never fully owned up to how much his behaviour hurt her, Emma assumes a sense of moral superiority. As far as she is concerned, forgiving him wouldn’t repair the marriage but would instead effectually give him an undeserved clean slate,  allowing him to feel that he no longer has any reason to feel guilty. ‘I want to make love to him, but that feels as if I’m telling him that everything is OK now — and for me, it’s not,’ she explains to me.

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A bond between husband and wife is a bond of a lifetime. You both made a vow to each other for better or worse, but sometimes things change. Sometimes you had a bad fight, you feel yourselves drifting apart, or you may have simply reached a point when you need an urgent solution to improve the relationship.
Relationships are no exception. They need work and commitment. With a little effort, understanding, and a bit of patience, you and your husband can improve love. But if you feel nothing will change or things become worst than you need to take a step.

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